I was surprised to wake up from my nap thinking about my dream. Looking at myself as the gawky school girl in JPP. Looking down from the 4th floor into the central courtyard of the building. Wearing the blue dress with white Salwar. I was surprised how it felt so real and how I missed or longed for that moment or may be the feeling in time just for a split second.
I am used to sudden appearances of such vivid memories of past places and experiences but they have all been from Providence or NYC. After we moved to Dehi these images, or more so the feelings of experiencing a particular moment have been off and on my companions. A lazy peaceful moment sitting on the couch looking out the window at the Spring unfolding; Sip of the seafood soup at the eatery outside Columbia or Pho in Providence; walking down Broadway; getting down 231st street station as the aroma of Popeys chicken brushes by. I decided it must be a way for me to re-adjust to the new place and the new reality. But this memory from so far away in time took me by surprise.
The reminiscing about life in the past few years hasn’t been bitter sweet, as I am happy with my decision. Not a single time have I second guessed our decision to move to India or been sad to not be in NYC. So is the childhood memory. I don’t find the need to relive the childhood days. I don’t pine to be the kid with no adult responsibilities. I am enjoying my adulthood as much as I did my childhood. And still my mind has thrown at me this vivid memory of standing in the school verandah looking down. A peaceful moment just observing the world unfolding around me.
This Pandemic is bringing up the most surprising things to the surface.
devayani tirthali 