patriarchy – devayani tirthali

I was agitated watching a Marathi soap opera that depicted a scene where a couple living out of wedlock was told there would be legal consequances. The man was told he can face jail time for adultery. ‘What nonsense’ I said, ‘these people should not show such blatantly untrue things’. I have had such bouts of frustration watching medical details portrayed eroneously as well. It has detrimental effect on societal understanding of medical and legal facts.

Before I started writing a scathing critique I decided to check the penal code related to marriage. Lo and behold, the soap opera writers are more knowledgeable about legalities than I thought I was:

Section-497- Adultery “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case, the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.”

Wow! how did I not know this? Note that it is about a man’s wife being ‘stolen’. It does not matter if a married man is stolen by another. I just assumed that we live in the 21st century and women are not considered a man’s possession anymore. I suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable being married under the marriage act in India. I wasn’t aware what I was signing up for.

The term adultery itself is a remnant of the patriarchical understanding of ‘Pavitrya’ (purity) of the woman that is necessary for the man to establish his genetic lineage. Woman’s womb being the ‘Kshetra’ (literally, the field) that needs to remain unadulterated and untouched by any other man.

Section-498- Enticing or taking away or detaining with criminal intent a married woman “Whoever takes or entices any woman who is and whom he knows or has reasons to believe to be the wife of any other man, from that man, or from any person having the care of her on behalf of that man, with intent that she may have illicit intercourse with any person or conceals or detains with that intent any such woman, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years, or with fine, or with both”.

Taking a woman from her husband or from a ‘person having the care of her’ – This reads as if women are children who need a guardian at all times. ‘Enticing’ similarly makes women sound like naive juvenile beings without any agency or understanding of their own sexuality.

A little bit of digging shows that the law is contested couple of times without much success. However, I haven’t seen any information about a sustained movement to change these archaic laws. Time to find a women’s rights group that is working on it and see how I can support it.

Last two weeks have been pretty intense for me. I went for this program – screening of the film BEYOND BEATS and RHYMES and a panel discussion afterwards . Quite an experience. The film looked at a lot of aspects of hip hop music but I wanted to note down a few things that struck me the most about portrayal of women.

The movie had a few examples of how women are portrayed in hip hop albums, I have myself read a few songs which talk about bitches and sex with them in horrible details. When the women fans of hip hop music were asked (in the film) about this portrayal and how they feel about it they said something to the effect that ‘They aren’t talking about us so we don’t take it to heart’. But looking at the way the male fans were treating these women I realized that one cannot ignore insults like that because one perceives it as not touching you. The men did take the lyrics and portrayals seriously and they did think the women around them were bitches and were groping them and harassing them.

Another comment that caught my attention was men differentiating between bitches and sisters. Even in India the modern male makes a distinction between ‘female friends’ (good for non-traditional fun and intellectual pursuits) and ‘girls who are wife material’ (traditional girls, submissive). La Bruha, one of the panelists, in this context, also talked about treating women either like a goddess or like a doormat. This also was something that reminded me of India. Indians tell the world that their culture treats women respectfully like a goddess. All that reads well in the subhashitas (sanskrit verses) and is good to show off greatness of our culture but basically putting somebody on the pedestal is like putting them in a cage. One who puts you on a pedestal is ready to strip off the status at the smallest indiscretion. I liked what the poetess La Bruha said, I don’t want to be on the pedestal because that gives you the power to pull me down, so I named myself ‘the witch’.

I liked that attitude. I should think of finding a name for myself that portrays what I feel about me and start writing my blogs under that pen name.

Tag: patriarchy

IPC 497, 498: Am I still my husband’s property?

About Bitches and Witches