Musings

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

I am always stumped by that question. What does it really mean? where was I born? where was I before being here right now? What is my ‘ethnicity’? What is my nationality?

Some part of why I am stumped, comes from the fact that I myself do not know where I fit. What label most fits me or who do I talk for when I say ‘we’. It also comes from a place where I do not like people to try and place me as an X without really knowing me or wanting to know me.

In India my mother was always asked the question, what is your maiden last name. Our family name did not clearly carry any cast connotation. The query for maiden last name was actually asking which cast/sub-cast she was. I find the question, where are you from, similar to such questions. It is basically asking the question, ‘are you of us or that other grouping?’ or ‘I can hear in your accent or see in your coloring that you are not of us so where can I fit you so that I know who you are.’

I have always liked to be eclectic and the question where are you from forces me to side with one or the other of the many places, people, ‘cultures’, traditions, schools of thought that I like to associate with, feel comfortable with or take pride in being part of. 
Musings

My history, Your history

Among other things, participating in Gallery Night Providence was one of the ‘things to do’ I have been planning for quite a long time to know more about my new city of residence and meet new people. As meeting people and knowing about the city were two important objectives, I decided to go for the theme based guided walks/tours offered last month rather than visiting the participating venues myself. Read more about the tour itself in the previous post.

Everybody at the information desk was happy to talk and give more information. The most interesting conversation of the evening however was with an older lady. We were talking about Myanmar, a word she could not place. I described it as Burma, the country to the east of Bangladesh. We had a lot more confusing back and forth as she thought it was next to Pakistan and I could not understand how she could miss the whole big chunk of India in the middle.

After some back and forth we realized that the visual of the map in her head was fine, facts from history was the problem. She was in school when Bangladesh was still part of Pakistan and was not aware of its formation in 1971. Part of history that I took for granted as part of world history was not an obvious nugget of information for her.

Some of it is also about geography and how we see things as near-far, relevant-irrelevant, or in size big-small based on where we currently live. More on perception of geography and how we see maps some other time.

Musings

Providence Firsts

Providence hosts an event every third Thursday named Gallery night. On October 21st I went for one of the tours offered as part of this event. We had a guest guide for this tour Michael Carroll, the docent of the John Brown House Museum in Providence. It was the most remarkable introduction to Providence and Rhode Island. Michael talked about a lot of firsts that can be attributed to the area.

One very important event was burning of the Gaspee as the event leading to the declaration of independence rather than the Boston tea party that I learned about in school (in India) learning about American Independence.

The Gaspee Day committee has been arranging various events to acquaint the public with an event that is as much a part of the national heritage as Paul Revere’s ride and the Battles of Lexington and Concord. The Burning of the Gaspee was the first link in the chain of events that led directly to the Declaration of Independence.

A short description from the Gaspee Day committee website:
“In June of 1772 brave colonists from Rhode Island burned the British revenue schooner, HMS Gaspee, during what has become recognized as the first bloodshed of the American Revolution.
For the past 49 years the village of  Pawtuxet, RI has commemorated this act with our annual Gaspee Days Celebration. “

The other first (or is it a second) was the Providence art club. The club was started in 1880s by 10 men and 6 women who wanted to create a permanent place for artists to get together, work, have an exhibition gallery and where connoisseurs can go to buy art.

It was fascinating to visit studios that some of the artists opened up for the gallery night. Most interesting was talking with Anthony Tomacelli. Listening to him explain his process of painting and how different colors interact with each other changed how I look at art and the different hues of blue, orange, and violet.

The Little Pictures Show and Sale that the Providence Art Club hosts every year is also a first. The exhibition starts in November and goes on till Decemerb 23. The art has to be smaller than 16 X 16 and priced at $250 or less. I was told that this is an opportunity to buy an original piece of art by some well known area artists cheaper. This year is the 109th year of this exhibition.

There were other firsts and seconds (Providence seems to have a lot of seconds) mentioned by tour participants. I am planning to explore the history of the area more through its buildings and museums. Will post more as I explore more. 

India Outside India · Musings

The tale of two Indias

I saw this PBS documentary today. On the website the description is as follows:
‘The World Before Her’ is a tale of two Indias: In one, a small-town girl competes in the Miss India pageant. In the other, a militant woman leads a fundamentalist Hindu camp for girls.

Lot to digest, for example – Choosing two girls from these specific circumstances and not others to contrast, especially since the struggle between tradition and modernity was a thread throughout. The visual of the girl sitting at the beach facing the Mumbai skyline juxtaposed with silhouettes of mountains and temple spires on the left shows this thread of presentation to come. As the documentary progressed, it was very interesting to see assumptions made about what is ‘modern’ when it comes to women in India. What is considered freeing, enabling and how it is shown as one or the other rather than a complex mix in both the paths these girls chose. 

I want to go back and watch it again to see how certain views, values, visuals were highlighted or played down. 

A lot there to process and comment but before I write a coherent review I just wanted to share the documentary itself. 

http://video.pbs.org/viralplayer/2365078770

Musings · Social Media, Technology & Education

Circles in my life

I am increasingly having problems with managing my connections. I felt it was easier before in 2005 when everybody from India was on Orkut and everybody I met in US was on Facebook. My Indian connections moved from Orkut to Facebook slowly some 2-4 years ago and my Orkut account gets only a trickle of relevant activity. However, even without the move that kind of division would not have worked for me today with the kind of sharing patterns I have.

My efforts at creating google circles was supremely unsuccessful (mostly because of google+ not working for me) so has been making groups on Facebook to selectively share stuff. Some of what I share is geographically related. For example the Africans in India exhibition I recently shared is accessible only to people living in NYC, so are various events at TC, Columbia University or other neighboring institutions. Some of it is more personal, like cute photos of my friends visiting us and celebrating Christmas, opening presents that are not necessarily unworthy to be shared with acquaintances but not particularly necessary to broadcast either.

I created a page on Facebook for my extended family and it has picked up really well. However, there is no way I can include some of the activities of the family I acquired here in US over time like my friend Marcelle and her two boys, my roommate Selen. After my parent’s visit to US the task has become much more difficult. Not only do I have two versions of family but some of the members of these two versions know each other well and I would like to share ‘stuff’ that both will enjoy.

The other side of it is to think about what will people I am related to want me to share. I had not thought about it before. Now that I think about it, I enjoy, actively read everything my sisters, friends in India post in spite of it being absolutely not related to me due to it being locally relevant geographically or local to some conversation I am not party to. Stalking my sisters and friends gives me a feeling that I am part of their lives more than possible given the distance (much of it in time zones).

This long ‘thinking out loud’ is not about the functionality so much but my inability or I think more of my aversion to define my various relations as to where they fit on the plane of relatedness. 

Musings

Remembering the dearly departed

I stumbled upon an article in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal (Jan 4,5 2013) titled Life and Death Online: Who Controls the digital legacy. It is a story of a teenager who died and her parents were fighting to get access to her online presence like emails, social network site accounts and so on.

Around the same time, after death of activist Aaron Swartz, there is an ongoing conversation on AIR about a pdf memorial for him. This subject also stuck in my mind because just a week back there was a discussion about online bereavement, memorials, and presence after death and related research on the AIR listserve.

I had not thought of my online presence as my legacy or memorabilia that my family might want as a keepsake. I most definitely had not thought about the legalities concerned and the need to add instructions for handling my various online presence as part of my will.

One reason for not thinking about it is that the thought of death and related practicalities has not been the foremost in my mind right now. Secondly, the idea of keepsakes from and memorials of dearly departed is not something that is culturally obvious to me. My friend showed me a watch that was given to her by her aunt as a keepsake after her death. I have read in novels and seen in movies and in TV series that people keep items of their departed relatives and friends as keepsakes. I have seen many deaths as I grew up but do not remember any practice of keepsakes. There is no custom of burial so no tombstone to visit, the ashes are thrown in the river so no keepsake urns on the mantle piece.

I wonder if it is the difference between the attitude towards death – the idea of moving on after a death vs. keeping memory of a person alive after death. Then I think of all the rituals we have for dead ancestors. The yearly food donation my parents make for my grandparents on their death anniversary. May be it is just a different way to remember.  

Musings

How safe do we feel in our city?

The first public place I went to the first day I reached Pune this time I visited India was a restaurant my sisters and cousins took me to. My sister was stopped and the boot of her car searched. I felt a bit frazzled. Where were they taking me? Is this some important building housing foreign nationals, bureaucrats, ambassadors or may be big shot Bollywood stars? Is there some kind of alert? No. it is just a terrace restaurant my sister told me. It seemed like she had experienced this before and thought it was perfectly normal.
The next shock was visit to the dentist. The dentist’s office is on the top floor of a hospital. There were metal detectors and purses and bags were being searched. I felt really unsettled. My sister again reassured that it is a routine procedure in all hospitals now. There was no red alert or anything to worry about. Everybody in the line continued like it was an everyday thing. I seemed to be the only one who was shocked, confused, pained.
The third time I went through metal detectors in another hospital building, it did not shock me but it still did not feel normal part of life. The security in terms of metal detectors, bag searching, checking vehicles etc. started at various public places like hospitals, restaurants, business centers after the Feb 2010 bomb blast at German bakery.  I had visited Pune before that in 2009 making this development shocking and painful experience.
Pune is an important city from the military point of view as it is the headquarters of the southern command. It is also a potential target for terrorist attack because of the National Chemical laboratory (NCL), National Defense Academy (NDA),  – a military training center, Armament Research Development Establishment (ARDE), High Energy Materials Research Laboratory (HEMRL) and the list goes on. I lived in close proximity of the later two before moving to NYC but it never felt unsafe.
Now that I am back in NYC and thinking about it, I remember the paramilitary police and military presence in Penn station. People loaded with assault rifles and ammunition in their military fatigues. Interestingly their presence neither makes me anxious nor does it make me feel secure. For me they are just kind of part of the picture like the eateries, people running here and there, announcements, signs for trains arriving and so on.   
I have read multiple times the warning signs in subway stations that backpacks can be randomly searched. Initially when I glanced at the sign I immediately thought about the contents of my back pack and if I had packed it well enough that they can do a cursory search and did not have to take everything out. I also thought about the people who they might stop and wondered what they might see that made them stop the person. Did I have characteristics that will make them stop me? As the city became my own, and I did not feel like an outsider, I stopped thinking about these signs as well.
I don’t feel unsafe living in NYC. Though logically I should if I make a list of reasons it could be a terrorist target and also by the presence of the military and the searching that tells me that there is a possibility. But I don’t feel unsafe. The possibility of an attack does not enter my day-to-day thinking. I don’t think twice before entering a subway. I wonder if visitors to NYC feel differently.
This chain of thought reminds me of a conversation way back in 2004 when I was visiting a client in Chicago. I lived in India at that time. He asked me how I felt living in India always feeling unsafe thinking about the nuclear capability of India and Pakistan and their strained relationship. What? I had never thought of it that way before he mentioned it. I did not feel unsafe, not for a single moment. We did not live in constant fear of the next attack or nuclear fallout. Everyday life was as normal as it could be even though perception of an outsider was far from it. People even in places plagued with terrorist threats and violence do get on with their lives and do have everyday lives as normal as possible in their circumstance. Just like it was normal life for my sisters I guess when I visited them this time, though not for me. Just like life is normal to me here in NYC! 
Musings

Sharing food

I was writing about exploring different cultures through food in my blog post Culinary Adventures, and realized that I have never posted any photos of our food excursions or of the potlucks. So here they are. I will add photos as I find them.

Lunch in a Turkish restaurant with Selen and her friend, Tina and Weinjing. Followed by turkish coffee and reading of fortunes 😉

Housewarming party at our home. Misal and Marcelle’s Curry
Musings

Culinary Adventures

I have been watching Anthony Bordain on Netflix, off and on this year. It is nice to experience various regions through his culinary adventures. I also like and very much appreciate the idea of knowing the culture through its food.

During my first couple of years in New York, we used to hold potlucks where everybody brought one traditional dish from their country, region or family tradition. We also planned food excursions where a group of us used to go experience a particular type of cuisine. All of it on student budget. I have been fortunate in finding a multicultural and multinational group of friends to share my food passion with.  From my South African friend’s pot of curry with star anise to my Chinese friends taking me to their favorite dumpling place, my Turkish friend introducing me to the dolma, baklava, halva, and  grape leaves,  Korean friend making a special dish of dduk bok ki and the list can go on.

The funny part is that the dduk bok ki and the potluck party around it was planned because one of our American friend craved for it. She was the one who actually introduced me to this fantastic Korean food. Similarly my Turkish friend introduced me to Sushi and sashimi. We are truly an international bunch here with transnational experiences. 

I love exploring people and cultures through food as everything is connected to food. Food opens up conversations about life experiences. Once I took my South African friend to an Indian Grocery store. She saw Maltova there and was super excited. She used to eat Maltova as a kid and her kids like it too. So I learnt the stories of her childhood and her kids growing up in SA. Sharing of Shevayachi Kheer is another such instance. She knows it as Buba (sp?). Something her Muslim neighbors and her mother’s Muslim friends shared with them on Eid. And then we talk about the friendships between various ethnic and religious groups, traditions that were borrowed and shared, the chat coming back full circle to the spices and culinary influences they have on each other and to her famous curry with star anise.

I went for a potluck dinner last night with a couple of friends welcoming parents of another friend.  We had a nice spread, Marcel’s curry, Amina’s okra, cauliflower rassa and a medley Aisha brought. The dinner was topped with Amina’s famous fruit cream and wonderful conversation. Everyone talking about their culture, customs and stories of their life.  It was nourishment for the soul. A parallel session of mendi (henna) designs helped as well to un-clutter the mind.

We haven’t been doing this as frequently as we should. Everybody busy with their research, life and all the stresses that are part of a doctoral student’s life. May be that is what I need. Another culinary adventure. Table full of food from all over the world, conversations as varied as the food.  Perfect therapy for weary soul.

Musings

Bell Bajao Abhiyan

http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/festival/9/911.swfThis video was shared in our Media, Culture and Education class. I was pretty impressed by the video and also by the fact that it was distributed by Govt of India (Ministry of Women and Child Development). The video is crisp with strong visuals. The ball bouncing in the kid’s hand and the image and sound of the bell are two very powerful images.

In the class, it was interesting to hear comments from an international crowd. For me the most important aspect was adolescents having power to intervene. Here are some comments from the class that stood out: would have liked to see girls in the mix; punk kids (refering to the galli cricket gang) taking social action was a powerful message, opening and closing of the doors seemed like passing of days and that the kids would always be there.

I personally thought that the same film would not have worked with girls. Galli cricket is a phenomenon. In this case with a Chaul setting, in lower middle class Mumbai. I assumed that in a different setting girls/women will have a role. I was reading more about the film maker Mallika Dutt and stumbled upon the website for the Bell Bajao Abhiyan (Ring the bell campaign). There are two more videos. Both featuring men (not young adults) taking similar action, ringing the bell. The website says the campaign is “asking men and boys to bring domestic violence to a halt”. I have to read more to see why they are focusing on men. It was intersting though that I never saw the absence of girls in the video till it was pointed out.