Category: Musings

Dilli Diary · Musings

Delhi Diary

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We are one month old in Delhi. 🙂
After living outside India for 12 years when we decided to be back in India, friends and family cautioned us that it is going to be a huge adjustment. A good friend in Delhi pointed out that there is getting reacquainted to India and there is getting used to Delhi. I wholeheartedly agree. Delhi is a different animal altogether.

Here are some good, bad, ugly, and just plain different:
1. Delhi Metro: The best thing so far. Second day in Delhi we got ourselves a metro card and it has been smooth sailing since then. First day it reminded me of NYC subway. Something familiar and so liberating. Since then I have realized that it is much better – it is clean, easy to navigate, and has pretty good signage.

2. No restaurants in sight: This one is specific to the area we live in. First day we wandered around trying to find something for breakfast. We still have tough time finding something decent. There are chaat corners, winter chaat vendors, chaaiwalas but just 1 restaurant in our area (10-15 mins walk) and another walking distance of half an hour that we found closed for renovation the day we decided to eat out. *sigh*
North Delhi I am told is the old culture while South Delhi is cosmopolitan. It sure shows in the food scene.

3. Expectation of man to man talk: It is extremely difficult to get anything done from anybody. The electrician, the plumber, the Bosch installation person look at Parag every time they answer a question, even when I ask the question. For the last 20 years I have done all these things myself so it is quite frustrating, infuriating. I have to keep pushing Parag to ask questions, negotiate or give ultimatums (which is part of a normal conversation here. More on the conversation/negotiation dance later). If you know Parag, it is the most difficult thing for him to do. This is, I am sure, very specific to Delhi or may be North Delhi (or North India?). I have never had this problem in Pune.

4. Security check in Metro and Malls: Every time you enter a metro station you have to go through a metal detector, get patted down, and put your bags through a scanner. Same with malls or big commercial buildings. There are separate lines for women with lady police officers and a ‘private’ space for the pat down. It may sound appalling to my friends in US but surprisingly I got used to it in a day (might be because of similar experience in Pune during the 2011 visit). Now it is part of the everyday rhythm. A family member of mine in Delhi who takes this as a given is appalled at the thought that NYC or for that matter any of the US or European city public transport systems do not have ‘security’. ‘How can you be safe without it?’ is his bewildered question.

Musings

Aren’t we beautiful enough

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Our first grocery shopping excursion in Delhi saw this and was apalled. I know Indians are obsessed with whitening creams but this was a bit much. A simple moisturizer doing double duty to make you lighter:

20180103_181307.jpg

Vaseline
healthy white 
lightening 
With vitamin B3 and triple sunscreen.
Restores for visibly
fairer skin in 2 weeks

Not just the lighter skin but I can see the obsession with ‘western’ features. All the shops I have seen so far in my area and in CP have mannequins looking like Europeans rather than Indians – Blue eyes, light skin, specific cut of the face and chin. First I thought it was in Western brand shops but apparently showcasing  saris and lehengas also need ‘European’ looking women. I wonder if this is a newer phenomenon or I just forgot how it used to be growing up.

Update Feb 17, 2018:
I was googling to see how the particular design for these mannequins came to be. Did not find anything specific about Indian or Delhi mannequins yet but found this interesting post on history of mannequins.

 

Musings

Good Bye NYC!

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As we planned and re-planned the details of our move to India, one thing I knew for sure – we will fly out of New York City. I have no emotional attachment to Boston and it would be such a shame not to see NYC, the love my life, for one last time.

I thought a lot about what I want to do in NYC and scratched all the touristy things that we listed together. The only thing I wanted to do was to hang out with friends, walk the streets, eat whatever random street food we saw on the way and just soak in the city that I called home for a decade.

Met some of my oldest friends in NYC. Extended lunch over dimsum till we couldn’t get up, warm bowl of ramen on a wicked cold night, gyro on the cart, ate our way through the Bryant park holiday market, managed to eat horrible Met cafeteria food as well just for old times sake.  😉

Cigar making demonstration as we wait for some Cuban food near Washington Square park:

  

Walking the city was a hit and miss. The snowstorm and the arctic wave did not make it easy but we did good. 🙂
Peak into a random church to get warm as we wandered in UWS:

Walking around TC and Columbia campus was mostly about getting things done like the post office visit, popping in the Columbia shop to buy some memorabilia. TC was deserted due to the holiday. But Parag insisted on getting photos in the deserted corridors. So here is one just to say I was at TC:


I am content as I leave this city. Many memories, no regrets!

Musings

Reimagining Maharashtrian/Marathi Cuisine

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Facebook is inundated with Diwali faral photos and recipes. First it was exciting and now I can’t stand it. So when Angat Pangat a facebook group posted its Diwali ank link I was excited. Reading Diwali ank was integral part of my Diwali holidays. I wasn’t able to keep it up after moving to NYC.

At first glance, thought this Pravaas: a Degustation by Swapneel Prabhu might be just the antidote I needed. Boy was I right. 🙂 Swapneel has taken the essence of key ingredients of different regional/ethnic Maharashtrian cuisines and presented it in surprising combinations of taste, texture, and presentation.

I was floored going through just the first two courses. The ingredients and the stories Swapneel shared reminded me of my summer and Diwali holidays at my grandparent’s place in Khanapur (Close to Belgaum) and one carefree summer spent in Savantvadi at my mavshi’s house. I can still remember the first time I saw mori masa (Shark) in the maasali baazar (fish market) and the texture of the flaky flesh in the first bite.

Varanaphala in the main course/pasta course moved me from ecstatic/nostalgic to introspective. Varanphala is a contentioys issue in our house. It is the most favorite comfort food for Parag and his family. Equally revolting for me. Swapneel’s take on it captures the essence of varanphal for Parag while giving it that suprising element of filling like a tortellini uplifiting it to something I can enjoy as well.

Many other beautifully conceptualized and plated dishes inspired by Nagapuri, Kolhapuri, and CKP cuisine. I don’t know the cuisine or do not feel passionately about these dishes so I better not comment.

Ending with kharavas and kunda crisps was a master stroke.

As I was about to post this comment I started thinking about my latest couple of posts talking about Indian food and cultural appropriation. I was aghast when I found the vanilla flavored ghee; livid when Saheli shared the Samosa Doughpods. So why is Swapneel’s “PB & J (Pavta Bharit aani Jondhala) Cornetts” inspired by bhakari, bharit, dahi and lahya were so exciting in spite of being presented in a completely alien way to the traditional items it points to?

Is it because he is Indian/Marathi (or thereabouts) and the doughpod person isn’t? How Indian or xyz ethnicity a person needs to be? I think it is more than just being Indian or having some connection to Indian. If that was the only criteria, I would not be so irritated with the Indian fusion at ‘India’ in Providence while  I still talk about Chauhan Ale House in Nashville as the best Indian food I ever had this side of the world.

Chauhan had dishes that you would never see on any Indian restaurant menu. The most memorable dish they served was fried Calamari, a staple in New England restaurants but not in India. The herbs and spices used for seasoning however captured the essence of the way I cook and the ingredients I use – like the aroma of kadhipatta crisped in the oil for chivada and the crunch of the rice flour+rava coating on a fish fry making you salivate with anticipation of the soft inside.

Question still remains: Who decides if a reimagined dish captures ‘the essence’? I am still muddling through this particular jumble of thoughts/questions. Any help/opinion/comment is appreciated.

PS: Happy Diwali

Musings

Butterfly needles, blood draws, and other things

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Flebotomist: You are dehydrated that is why I can’t find your vein.
Me: *Close eyes, take a deep breath and get ready for the dialogue*
F: If you don’t drink coffee and drink a bottle of water we would not have this problem.
Me: I do not drink coffee actually.
F: *silence*
Me: I drank water yesterday and in the morning as you mentioned last time so this time it would be easier.

F: You are drinking too much water and diluting yourself. 

I have had this exact same dialogue with this one. I have had similar dialogues with other flebotomist. My entire life I have had problems where people can’t find my veins. It has exasurbated after I came to US. In 2014 had a harrowing experience wher I was poked and proded 12 times on both hands, and back of my palms to the point where I was about to faint. I very curteously asked her to remove the needle (which was not drawing any blood) so that I can faint without hurting her. She was mad at me for botching her 12th attempt.

I thought it was because I am perpetually dehydrated since I moved to US or becaue I am now old. Untill I finally found a person who used to insert needle in a single swift movement and draw blood like it was no big deal. She also said encoragingly everytime – “you did really well”. I really liked her. She moved to some other clinic and I am back to the dialogues. She told me to ask for butterfly needle. It hasn’t helped with others.

In the meanwhile I went to India where my neighborhood doctor did a clean blood draw without any butterfly. with just a plain syringe that he emptied in the vial. It was one of the smoothest blood draws in a while.

Now that I have experienced two really good flebotomists, I have realized that it is not my age or being perpetually dehydrated, or the equipment. It is just plain skill. I wonder then if the whole back and forth about me doing this to myself by drinking coffee, not drinking water, or drinking too much of it, is their way to push the blame because they can’t do their jobs to even a basic acceptable level.

The first one that made my hands black and blue, came to work after a weekend long training, I was told. I still can’t get over the fact. Looks like she did not learn these Phlebotomist Commandments in her training. The most important for me – thou shall not prick more than twice. Back off and call somebody else.

I actually did not believe the weekend training thing. But just a quick google search opened my eyes. The site How to become phebotomist says that only two states need a certification to be a phlebotomist. what? 😨 So it is worse than I thought.  The certification, which is voluntury in other states, seems to be a simple 2 day training like this on phlb.com.

I cannot believe my eyes. My doctor looks at wikipedia to tell me about what ails me. My phlebotomists might be anybody that picked up the skill over the weekend. Who am I supposed to trust in this system?

Musings

Mobile Etiquette

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I was surprised during my recent visit to India to see how ubiquitous mobiles have become. I am not talking about mobile telephony penetration but how many people are constantly talking, chatting, browsing on a mobile phone:

  • People on two wheelers and cars in heavy traffic are regularly seen talking on the phone. They are not even on handsfree mode, either managing the motorbike with one hand or keeping the phone pressed between sholder and ear. 
  • My friends, family, aquaintances regularly answer the phone even though we are in a middle of a conversation or a meal. 
  • In public places people watch whatsapp or facebook videos without headphones, sometimes while listening to something else such as public announcement, flight security presentation, or television program.  

I will be shocked if I see any of this in USA, at least on the east coast where I have lived and worked. Some of these behaviors will be considered extremly rude.

While talking with a family friend, I realized that he finds answering mobile phone at all times obvious and American custom of not answering the phone immediately when it rings, rude and perplexing. What makes technology related customs develop in certain ways in certain places? Is it about the core cultural values or phase in technology life cycle? In India mobile phones were used as a means for urgent or emergency communication. Keeping a voice mail was unheard of. Even today few people think of leaving a voice mail or know how to.

Musings

Women in the workplace: office housework

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That time when:
– a visitor asks if the coffee cabinet is open or locked and nobody except me, the only other woman in the room gets up to check and bring the key. Others (men) completely ignore the question as if it is not their speciality thus not their responsibility.  Interestingly I am the only one in the room that does not drink coffee.
– one of the men in the meeting leaves their coffee cup and spilled coffee on the table after the meeting. The only attendees who think about the mess and how to clean it are two women in the meeting, one of them higher in the institutional hierarchy than all the men who attended.
– in a meeting about collaboration possibilities with another group on campus, my male colleague is asked about his opinions about the plan while I am asked to book a meeting room.

There is a term for these kind of tasks ‘office housework’. Tasks such as – taking meeting notes, making sure that office supplies are stocked up, a late request for service is fulfilled, gatherings to bring the team together are arranged – are necessary for the healthy functioning of the team. However, men and women do not share these tasks equally in the workplace. Disproportionately more women take on or are expected to do the office housework but do not get credit for it. It doesn’t count when it comes to promotions.

A woman voluntarily taking notes in every meeting looses opportunity to contribute fully. It is not just the woman who looses opportunities but the team suffers as it does not get the unique perspective of one of their team members.

What can we do about this?

  • Women and men as allies: Now that you know this happens, observe what is happening in your team or organization. When you see a woman in the team being burdened with these tasks consistently, point that out and suggest taking turns so that the all members of the team pitch in.    
  • Supervisors (male or female) need to create processes that do not burden one person with such tasks. They can also create clear categories in yearly appraisals for tasks that helped keep the team together. 
Many people have researched this topic and written about it. If you want to read more here are some
readings to start with: 
    India Outside India · Musings

    Gudhipadva and the Hindu New Year

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    Now that we have Whatsapp in addition to Facebook and a growing number of people back home using it, we don’t need Kaalnirnay. As any important festival or religious day dawns in India earlier than in US, we start getting whatsapp messages the previous night.

    It was Gudhipadva on March 28. I received plenty of images of gudhi and wishes for the new year. What surprised me this year was the number of messages that said Hindu Navavarshachya Shubheccha. When did Gudhipadva become Hindu newyear? At best it is Marathi new year.
    Hindu Nav Varsh Ani Gudi Padwachya Hardik Shubhechha
    Gudhipadva is the first day of the first month (Chaitra) of the year, making it the new year’s day. But this calendar is not ‘The Calendar’ of India or Hindus. To start with there are regions that follow the amaant system and others that follow pournimaant system. In north India the month ends with a pournima or a full moon day while in the south it ends with amavasya i.e. no moon day. This clearly makes the first day of month 15 days apart so how can we have the same new year’s day?

    Secondly, there are regions that follow a completely different calendar system other than the lunisolar calendar that we use in Kalanirnay for example. The Malyalam calendar is a solar calendar. First of each month is based on the movement of sun through the zodiac. When I started digging more I realized that there are other regions that follow a similar method. Read more details about different calendars in India here. I have not even started digging into conventions in different communities that start the year in different months or seasons.

    People calling Gudhi Padva, hindu navavarsha or Hindu new year wipes out all these differences. These are not nuances. These are completely different practices.

    I wondered where the ‘Hindu nava varsha’ nomenclature came from suddenly as I had not seen it before. Seems that RSS always referred to Gudhi Padva as Hindu nava varsha. I wonder if the copy paste and forward system of whatsapp made it so ubiquitous that it finally reached me. The question is whose new year is it then? Mostly Marathi upperclass hindus pretending that their practices are the practices of Hindus of all shapes and sizes.

    You might think it is a small thing, it is just wording but for me it showcases homogenization of hinduism and what it means to be a Hindu. It is disturbing.

    Musings

    Where are you from?

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    Where are you from?

    I am always stumped by that question. What does it really mean? where was I born? where was I before being here right now? What is my ‘ethnicity’? What is my nationality?

    Some part of why I am stumped, comes from the fact that I myself do not know where I fit. What label most fits me or who do I talk for when I say ‘we’. It also comes from a place where I do not like people to try and place me as an X without really knowing me or wanting to know me.

    In India my mother was always asked the question, what is your maiden last name. Our family name did not clearly carry any cast connotation. The query for maiden last name was actually asking which cast/sub-cast she was. I find the question, where are you from, similar to such questions. It is basically asking the question, ‘are you of us or that other grouping?’ or ‘I can hear in your accent or see in your coloring that you are not of us so where can I fit you so that I know who you are.’

    I have always liked to be eclectic and the question where are you from forces me to side with one or the other of the many places, people, ‘cultures’, traditions, schools of thought that I like to associate with, feel comfortable with or take pride in being part of. 
    Musings

    My history, Your history

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    Among other things, participating in Gallery Night Providence was one of the ‘things to do’ I have been planning for quite a long time to know more about my new city of residence and meet new people. As meeting people and knowing about the city were two important objectives, I decided to go for the theme based guided walks/tours offered last month rather than visiting the participating venues myself. Read more about the tour itself in the previous post.

    Everybody at the information desk was happy to talk and give more information. The most interesting conversation of the evening however was with an older lady. We were talking about Myanmar, a word she could not place. I described it as Burma, the country to the east of Bangladesh. We had a lot more confusing back and forth as she thought it was next to Pakistan and I could not understand how she could miss the whole big chunk of India in the middle.

    After some back and forth we realized that the visual of the map in her head was fine, facts from history was the problem. She was in school when Bangladesh was still part of Pakistan and was not aware of its formation in 1971. Part of history that I took for granted as part of world history was not an obvious nugget of information for her.

    Some of it is also about geography and how we see things as near-far, relevant-irrelevant, or in size big-small based on where we currently live. More on perception of geography and how we see maps some other time.